How Are You? Really?

Encourage each other. Live in harmony and peace. Then the God of love and peace will be with you. Greet each other in Christian love.

1 Corinthians 13:11,12

At home, our early morning salutations are a pretty cursory affair as, after corporate morning prayers, everyone grunts a greeting and dashes off to whatever activity begins their day. But not when Grandma is visiting. Then greetings become a special event.

 

After prayers, we all sit down and wait in expectation because we know Mama is about to greet us. Slowly and deliberately, indeed she will not be rushed, she turns to Dad and looks him straight in the eye. "Orkurga," she says, using his birth name, "Good morning, did you sleep well?" This is no routine question, as you can feel from her tone and attitude that she means precisely what she says.  "Did you sleep well?" requires an honest answer.

 

One by one she greets us, going in a circle. I can't wait for my turn. "Doosuur." She addresses me.

 

"Eh, Mama", I answer, all the while knowing what will come next.

 

"Good morning. Did you sleep well?" What a wonderful question. And I know that she would really like to know.

 

What a contrast this draws with the perfunctory salutations we offer each other every day. Offerings like "Good day" and "How are you?" have become mundane and hardly ever mean more than the barest of acknowledgements. But then, if we would take a minute to slow down, look someone in the eye and ask him, honestly, "How are you? Really?", we might be surprised at what the answer might be. Because often we will discover that beneath the veneer of a smiling face and a ready answer, lies a human being, all too familiar with the hurts, worries and concerns that make everyday living what it is.

 

A question as simple and commonplace as "How are you?" can become a veritable tool for breaking down barriers and getting into someone's world to offer comfort, healing and wisdom. And, beyond this, in that singular moment where all your attention is fixed on that one person, he feels special, very special indeed.

 

Hello there. Yes, I'm talking to you. How are you? Really?

 

With love, Doosuur.